十二月的心情.

就這樣彈著.我不清楚是什麼和旋.我知道我想她了.但我們的世界很不一樣.和眼淚說好了不再見面.但是它時常在我不注意的時候就來拜訪.

我知道我很懦弱.讀書又讀的不好.

每倒了新的季節,會有某名的感觸.是人家畢業,失業的時候.是我嫉妒,羨慕的季節.我害怕.真的看不到未來的道路.我窩囊.放棄自己喜歡的女孩.什麼都以未來為前提.你要回去了.可能我再也見不到你了. 我知道我會後悔. 但我告訴自己我會努力的.學姐告訴我要勇往直前.但我害怕的是,我們再也不能像以前一樣的說話,一起的為譏笑對反而開心.那是一種遺憾.

眼淚忍住.想想回家就在一個月的時間.

十二月.就像學姐說的一樣,我開始嫉恨這個慶典的時段.明明就不習慣自己一個人的生活. 誰是真的能和我聊的天的人.

大家個忙個的.我只是一個遊子.把秘密藏在那已為我自己創造的8年保險箱裡. 再多的秘密也只有我知道. 我曾經告訴學妹.人是群體生物. 我們都必須依靠對方.我很失敗.我孤僻.我很羨慕別人的友情. 我對別人說的話 我卻自己沒能辦的到.

11.22pm 看到電話熒幕亮了. 我看到她的名字.和別人談話.但我選擇逃避.我真的不想面對. 不.是我害怕. 學姐.我對不起你.你叫我追她時.我真的害怕了.我退卻.

我還能見你幾次? 好了,膽小鬼. 快睡吧.一切都會在夢裡療傷的. 回到你最初那個有著偉大夢想的時候吧. 自由飛翔你喜歡的夢. 加油 黃俊卿.你行的.

讓愛再回到原點.

不久前,朋友提起這荒廢的地方.

常在想,我是否做了對的決定,住在這裡. 回家了一趟,感覺真的不一樣.家裡變了.兄弟長大,畢業的也差不多了.我後悔! 不是現在 而是過去.

可能這是一個過程.人生的過程,眼淚落下,是想家的淚,是思念的淚.我們不知道我們會面對怎麼樣的未來,但只求人生一路風順,

但,不管未來怎樣,我已準備好面對.生活再苦,還是叫生活.不是因為我不喜歡他就為你改變.

獨自守在空蕩的房間.吉他陪我度過.多希望一個懂我的人和我聊天.但音樂卻為我敘述我的心情.

不知是否我被音樂埋沒了,還是我想用音樂表達我的心聲.

92 days.

我選擇放棄她.因為我知道讓你難為難的事我做不出來. 想你的夜.

One step to near him

You will never know that even a light and simple sentence can change the another person whole life, words are powerful, it can be harmful to other sometimes, basically it always hurt people without you notice it. It is so powerful that you can cause an impact whether on a bad person or a good person.

A simple word,a simple sentence, it could be just "Hi, do you want to join us?" It can be just only that simple, that sentence will make the person have a 180 degree changed in him/her life.

I learned that, never shy to anything, try to be brave,try to speak out your feeling,it is really good when you are sharing your blessing from God to other people.

I had a lunch with my cell group members today,do you know that? It was a simple lunch, but it was not just as simple lunch as you thought. It was awesome. Jesus Christ told us a lot, how to influence people by using words,speak out loud ,act out.

That are lots of examples, the world is big,we just cannot imagine how big is it,as a human being, we human has been limited to do something,God gives us brain to think,eyes to see, ear to listen,and mouth to speak. That are the things that we can do,but we always afraid to do so.

2010 was good, it was awesome also,I used to attend church when I was young,like very young, I couldn't remember how young was it.

I always think of the challenge that pastors,cell leader has been given me, why do you accepts Jesus? and also, do you still remember the image when you first time meet the Jesus,and accepts him as your salvation?

Think of yourself,have you ever scold someone you don't like face to face? Yes, of course we do, sometime, it does hurt people a lot, on the other hand, have you ever think of what does the feeling of the person who got scold by you? When someone blame you the same word,the same sentence,will you feel uncomfortable ? Think of it, and challenge yourself.

World change every day,you change every day. God loves you because of God is,not because of anything you did or didn't do. Always remember, the best is yet come.

梦

无人的夜里

宁静的道路

有着小小风扇的伴随

红红的双眼

迟睡早起的习惯

热热的空气在屋里屋外进出

丝毫不把窗口当着一回事

填不饱的肚子

在肠胃里打着响鼓

长长的头发

只有夹子才能安抚它

长长的想念

是你无法理解的

每个人都有一个梦

梦不是和你想的一样

不一样的梦

有着不一样的路

你从来都不知

路

究竟有多长

究竟有多短

究竟有多危险

究竟有多安全

路

对某些人来说

是那么的明亮

是那么的光耀

但

有对某些人来说

是那么黑暗

让人抓不透

人生有多少个十年

人生有多少个二十 年

有人

有着全盘的打算

有着刚烈的决心

华人新年的到来

已不是那么的明显

不一样的国家

有着不一样的习俗

不一样的国家

有着不一样的庆典

生活在这里

是享受

还是折磨

都不是

这是一种磨练

逃避是一种对磨练的无声抗议

面子书上人们讨论的事

已不是我的话题

老朋友渐渐的没联络

新朋友渐渐的增加中

老与新

只在一线中

我的体会

相信是没人懂

羡慕朋友的至交

羡慕朋友的活动

考试的到来

带来的压力

经济的负担

这些都是磨练吧

人们倒数回家的行程

我却倒数考试的到来

不同的人格

不同的命运

人在深夜有着和早上大不同的情绪

对事物的要求

是求无止境

奢华的生活

不是我现在能过的

要风得风

要雨得雨

是迈向失败的第一步

重重的眼袋

像是承载着猜不透的重量

是时候

关上面子书

关上电脑

关上灯

进入只属于我自己的

梦

Thanksgivings!

This year,last year? The countdown was awesome,we were celebrate the new year by worship God. It is totally different from the previous years.

I believe that that are many ways to celebrate a new year coming,I had chose my way to celebrate it.

At the end of the 2010,I was keep thinking of what has God done to me,I really appreciate it.

The moment that I spend with cell members,I felt that celebrate new year in worship is really meaningful for all of us,we share about what happen to us in 2010.

2010 is a past,it means,anything bad which from 2010,we should throw it away,and have new start.

Honestly,for me, a new year doesn't means it is totally new for me,because I think every single day,when I wake up from sleep,open my eyes,it is a new year,a meaningful day for me.

That are lots of things waiting for me to facing,to challenge,to fight with them.

God always like to put some challenging stuff inside my every single pages,however,God also always give us a happy ending at the bottom of our pages.

The best is yet to come,it is a meaningful words, phrase for me,I will never forgot what God has taught us. Although I am facing any difficult problems,the best is waiting for me behind the huge number of problems.

Last 4 weeks,I will be in Kuching,with friends who haven't meet up for an age,can't wait to see them. I don't have a lots of friends in Kuching,it is a fact. Sometimes I was thinking it is all because of myself,should say,it is my fault actually.

I am a person who do not talk a lots, but it doesn't means I act cool. I want to communicate with other people,how I wish I got friend anyway.

I went to the church this morning,and we talk about thanksgiving again,and it was great that I learn thing again.

Thanks God for the relationship between my family,He brings me more closet to my family,building a new bridge,pull down the wall between my farther and I.Although I still trying hard.

Tomorrow school is going to reopen,I feel happy that I can learn something new again,but feel sad at the same time because of the holiday "mood"is still doesn't want to leave me aways.Hatesss.

So I really pray hard for the future thing that I will be facing! Thanks God!